Moving In
by voice of morgoth
Summary: The twins move in with Wendy. It turns out they've developed feelings for their redheaded lumberjack friend. Pinecest warning


"Portland." Mabel says as she bounces in her seat excitedly. The twins were moving out to the city of Portland, where no one knew the twins were lovers. They could be free from the fear of someone throwing one or both of them in jail. They were free to live as they choose. The only one who knows that they are more than siblings remains one of their best friends. The twins pull up to the apartment complex.

"This is the place." Dipper says.

"Race you to the top."

"We're on the first floor."

"And you need some exercise, bro-friend."

Dipper shoves Mabel playfully before he leaves to get the keys to their new home. Mabel hums to herself as she waits for her brother to return. Dipper comes back to the car and looks in.

"Well, should we get started?" he asks.

Mabel nods her head before stepping out of the vehicle. They begin dragging their suitcases and boxes into the building. Dipper returns and retrieves Waddles from his cage. Dipper escorts the twins' pet pig into the building. The entrance leads towards a hallway on the left, with an entrance to the kitchen on the right and Wendy's bedroom on the left. Moving forward, they come to the living room. The living room is painted a dull white, and only a couch and small television can be found. Dipper and Mabel take their things into their bedroom behind the couch. A small white dresser sits on the right side of the bed, and a desk with a lamp is on the opposite side. Dipper begins looking through the boxes and sorting everything out. He organizes the twins' things as Mabel watches in amusement.

"Why go through all that trouble if we both know you're just going to put it all in a big, messy pile?"

"I still need to know where everything is. There is a system. It doesn't look like it, but it's there."

Dipper sorts through his clothing. He moves onto two boxes filled with books, movies, and games. He slides his finger along the line of items as he holds his tongue in his lips, one of Dipper's many "thinking" expressions. Mabel smiles at her brother's adorable face as he browses through the games before he moves onto the box filled with the twins' miscellaneous trinkets and Mabel's art supplies. Dipper looks through and comes to a stop.

"Where is it?" Dipper says.

"What?"

"The eye. That little necklace thingy."

"Don't know." Mabel says while smirking. She watches as Dipper searches through the different piles exasperatedly. He lets out a groan in irritation as he lifts his head back. Then he realizes that the cold touch of metal is on his skin. Dipper yanks the chain out from underneath his shirt and smacks his head, realizing he has been wearing the necklace the whole time. Dipper turns to see Mabel giggle at him.

"You knew." Dipper says while narrowing his eyes.

"Guilty as charged."

"Rude."

Mabel walks over and wraps her arms around Dipper's shoulders. She moves her lips against his, burying his face in a deep kiss. Dipper cups her cheek as he enjoys the sweet taste of her lips. Mabel parts with him and looks into his eyes. Dipper smiles warmly at her.

"Forgive me?" Mabel asks innocently.

"Yeah." Dipper says in a serene tone. Mabel moves away from her brother and begins taking her belongings to her side of the bedroom. She looks at the undecorated mirror and plain desk.

"This place is going to need some Mabelizing!"

"It is kind of boring, isn't it?"

"When I'm done with it, it'll feel just like home."

Mabel realizes what she had just said and her smile falters slightly. Dipper notices her face and walks over to see what is bothering his sister.

"Is something wrong?"

"Well, it's just, home… we're really not there anymore, are we?"

"Well, not our first home. But we can make this our new one. And that doesn't mean we can't go visit every once and a while."

"Yeah, I know. It's just… blargh."

"Blargh indeed."

Dipper begins shoving his stacks of clothes into the dresser while Mabel neatly organizes her art supplies around the desk. Dipper goes to hook up his game consoles to the television. He turns the television on to test the connection. The screen is discolored and slightly blurry on the top. Dipper mumbles in frustration as he fiddles with the cords to get the connection clear.

"Trouble with the T.V.?"

"Yeah. Dang things old and clunky."

Mabel walks over and bumps the television on the top. Dipper turns to see a slightly better picture.

"Still not perfect." he says.

Mabel bumps the top again, which only seems to make things worse than before.

"Well that didn't help." Dipper says.

Mabel punches the television, making the image jolt before settling on a near perfect quality.

"It worked. Huh."

"Mabel here's a pro with these electronic gizmos."

"That you are, my sis-friend… that doesn't work."

"Not at all."

Dipper and Mabel snicker at Dipper's failed joke. The twins hear the door to the apartment open. The twins' housemate has arrived.

"Can you guys help me carry this stuff?" Wendy asks as she chugs in a heavy box. The twins run to help Wendy carry her boxes and suitcase into the condo. Wendy and the twins spend most of the day setting up their rooms. Wendy lifts the old, nearly broken television and carries it to the corner. She takes her flat screen television and places it on the television stand.

"Wendy to the rescue." Dipper says.

"It's what I do."

The twins and Wendy spend the day organizing the condo. Wendy leaves to run errands for the three.

"So Dipster, your second job looking after kids. I always figured you'd end up, like, an author or a math dude."

"A math dude?"

"Yeah, a dude who's good with math."

"Well, life throws you curveballs. Besides, I like kids."

"Too bad we can't have any of our own."

"We can. They just won't come out too good."

To demonstrate his point, Dipper closes one eye and begins drooling and babbling incoherently, much to Mabel's amusement. Wendy returns from the store with several bags of groceries. The sun moves down in the west and the moon rises in the sky. Wendy crashes on the couch and turns the television on. Dipper and Mabel prepare dinner together while Wendy yawns.

"So when do you start working?" she asks Dipper.

"Uh, Thursday."

"That's good. I don't think being a waitress can pay for all this plus Mabel's college."

"Don't worry. Mom and Dad are helping out with my college tuition."

"More money for us, then."

The twins and Wendy watch the television while Wendy occasionally sips from a bottle of beer.

"This… this is good." Wendy says.

Come Monday, Mabel waves goodbye to Dipper and Wendy. She drives to the school, ready to begin college life. Dipper and Wendy sit at the condo, relaxing before they have to begin attending their jobs.

"So Wendy, know anyone you know around here?"

"Didn't spend enough time here last summer. Just met a couple of guys, but meh."

"They're meh?"

"Yes. Well, I'm going to go work out."

"Need to keep those lumberjack muscles strong."

"Want to join me?"

"Um, alright."

Wendy goes and retrieves several weights. Dipper looks at the largest and begins to lift it, struggling to hold it up.

"You need to work on your muscles. You're all noodly."

"I'm not noodly. I'm not big, but I'm not that bad. Am I?"

"Nah. You've got some muscles. But you should work out more."

Dipper and Wendy spend the day lifting weights, running down the block, and taking Waddles for a walk. Wendy guides Dipper through the reps, making sure he doesn't hurt himself by bending or moving the wrong way. The two chat together while they head down the block with Mabel's pig. Mabel returns from her classes as Dipper and Wendy sit down on the couch, sweaty and exhausted.

"Wow, you two need a shower." Mabel says as she takes a whiff of the sweaty friends. Dipper cracks his arms and stretches his back before standing up.

"Yeah. You want to go first?" he asks Wendy.

"No, I'm good. That was a good workout, by the way. Much more fun with you."

"I know. What should we do for lunch?"

"I don't know, just make something quick."

Dipper walks into the bathroom and turns on the shower. He begins rinsing off the sweat as Mabel comes in with him.

"Room for one more?"

"Of course."

"So, you working on your muscles, bro?"

"Yep."

"We'll need to work on your other 'muscle' later."

"My favorite exercise."

"Sexorcise."

Dipper and Mabel snicker at her pun as they wash up. The twins step out of the shower and join Wendy on the couch. They play through several rounds of Super Smash Bros. and watch the Duck-tective mini-series. At the end of the last episode, Dipper turns towards Mabel as the twins laugh at the insane show.

"That was great." Dipper says.

"I know. They need to make another series. Just constant Duck-tecting."

"That'd be awesome."

Dipper turns towards Wendy, who's beaming a big smile at Dipper. Dipper returns her smile as he sinks into the couch.

"That was good." Wendy says.

"Yeah."

"Well, it's getting late. I've got to start work early tomorrow, so I'll catch you guys later."

"Goodnight, Wendy."

"Goodnight."

Dipper looks back to Mabel, who's snuggling into Dipper's shoulder.

"So, ready for your next couple of classes?"

"Yeah. Art and pre-calc tomorrow."

"Want to go a couple rounds in Smash Bros.?"

"That'd be nice."

The twins play long into the night while Wendy occasionally steps out to use the bathroom. Dipper yawns while looking at the clock.

"One o'clock?"

"Crap. I got to be in school by nine."

The twins shut off the television and go to bed. Mabel snuggles into Dipper as the twins fall asleep.

The next day Dipper stays to himself. Mabel is busy with most of her classes while Wendy is at work. Dipper sits on the couch with Waddles while watching a marathon of Star Galactors. He giggles at the poor quality and stilted dialogue, wondering just how his seven year old self ever enjoyed the show.

"Mr… TANNERSON?!"

"YES… you have discovered… my secret! I am overlord Galagarth!"

"You monster!"

"Monster? I am a god!"

Dipper giggles at the absurdity as Mabel returns home, shuffling through the door and collapsing on the couch next to Dipper.

"How'd the classes go?"

"Eh. Been better. Stupid calculus went for two and a half hours."

"They have breaks, don't they?"

"Yeah, but still; my brain is fried. So what's happening with you?"

"Catching up on Star Galactors. It's not as good as I thought it would be."

At the end of the marathon, Mabel goes to start on her calculus homework. Dipper occupies himself by playing with Waddles and reading several recipes from the twins' cookbook.

Several miles away, Wendy is rushing through the restaurant, giving out the orders to different customers. Another customer sits down at a table before turning to meet Wendy's gaze.

"Wendy! You're back!"

"Oh, hey Joe. What's been happening?"

"Not much. Still studying for my degree."

"What classes do you got?"

"This year is pre-calc, some managing class, and some art thing. So what's happening with you?"

"Moved back in with some pretty cool people."

"Who are they?"

"My friends from Gravity Falls. We used to hang out a lot in the summer."

"Neat."

"Still got that goofy hairdo, I see." Wendy says while pointing to his long, spiked hair.

"Eh, I like it. Anyways, could you bring me some water?"

"Sure. Be back in a sec'."

Back at the condo, Dipper and Mabel lie naked in the bed, grinning at their recent fun.

"That was awesome." Mabel says.

"It's always awesome with you."

"You cheesy dork."

Dipper and Mabel retrieve their clothes and dress. Once nightfall comes, Dipper goes to begin making dinner.

"Whatcha thinking of making tonight, bro?"

"I'm thinking mostacholi… with a nice Caesar salad."

"Yummy. I'll get started on the salad."

Mabel hums a happy tune as she dances while preparing the meal. Wendy comes in the door and walks to the kitchen. She fetches a glass of water and chugs it down, spilling several drops on her green shirt.

"That hits the spot."

Wendy sits down at the table while the twins prepare the meal.

"So, how was work?" Dipper asks.

"Pretty good. Met with this guy I know."

"Are you going to hit it up?"

"Don't know. We already broke up last summer, but maybe I'll give him another chance."

"Alright."

The twins set the plates down once the food is ready. Dipper takes a seat next to Mabel.

"So, one more free day, right Dipper?" Wendy asks.

"Yes. Then it's time to watch the gremlins."

The twins and Wendy eat their meal. Wendy heads to bed early, leaving the twins watching the television.

"So, how are your teachers?" Dipper asks.

"Don't know yet. Art teacher is pretty awesome, kind of like me."

"Another Mabel? Can the world handle such greatness?"

Mabel shoves her brother playfully before continuing.

"Math teacher is fine, although he's a bit dull. The philosophy teacher's pretty cool. Organic chemistry teacher's kind of old and… grumpy."

"Uh oh. I sense tension."

"I'll have to warm his heart with cheer and joy."

Dipper and Mabel walk with Waddles into their room and go to bed. The twins are still sleeping when Wendy gets up to leave. She grabs a cereal bar and a bottle of water before heading out the door. Mabel leaves an hour later to go to her classes, leaving Dipper alone with Waddles again. Dipper spends the morning exercising and working himself into a sweaty, exhausted mess.

The twins and Wendy work through their days before coming home, sitting on the couch and talking. Dipper begins to remember why he crushed on Wendy in the first place. She was different than Mabel; her chill, laid back nature set his worried mind at ease, especially during the days when his mind turned towards Mabel. He tried to suppress those thoughts, and he found Wendy's personality to be the perfect balance to Mabel's energetic lunacy.

Dipper and Mabel sit with Wendy on Sunday, one week after they have arrived in Portland.

"We should do something to celebrate." Mabel says cheerfully.

"It's only been a week." Dipper replies.

"Yes. And we'll celebrate in a month, then a year!"

"Um, alright. So what are we going to do?"

"I've got some beer and whiskey." Wendy responds.

"No thanks. I'm not the drinking type."

"Alright."

"We could just watch some movies!" Mabel says with a bounce in her step.

"But we always do that."

"I know. That's the thing; with us three, every day is a 'par-day.' Get it?"

Wendy and Dipper groan at Mabel's pun.

"That was a horrible pun." Dipper says.

"At least it was a pun, Mr. 'sis-friend.'"

Dipper shoves Mabel playfully while Wendy laughs at Dipper's poor attempt at a joke.

"Yeah, we can just watch some movies." Wendy says.

"Alright." Dipper replies.

"So, what should we watch first?"

Dipper and Mabel run back to their room and begin searching through their movies. They settle on a choice of three old sci-fi horror movies.

"We've got Attack of the Killer Potatoes, Vengeance From Dulmorth, and Murder Town 2: the Murdering." Dipper announces. Wendy begins looking through the selection before deciding on Attack of the Killer Potatoes.

"This one looks nice and stupid."

"Attack of the Killer Potatoes it is!" Mabel announces. Mabel sits between Dipper and Wendy.

"Ah, my two favorite dorks." Mabel says.

"The dorkiest." Dipper replies.

The main character, Irish Joe, is at the lowest point in his life. His girlfriend has left him, he has been kicked out of his house, and his best friend is moving away. Irish Joe wastes his days touring bars and getting into drunken brawls.

But fate would find a champion in Irish Joe, for a scientist has attempted to develop self-sustaining crops to feed the world. But his test crop, the simple potato, has begun to develop a mind of its own. It knows its fate is to be raised to adulthood only to be skinned, cut up, and dropped into a pot to be boiled. So it sprouts powerful tentacles and lashes out against the scientist, ending the human's life. A rudimentary mouth forms on the potato's mouth as it announces its dark designs.

"The age of man is over. The time of the potato has come." it says in a low, deep voice.

The potato begins cloning itself to build its army. Meanwhile, Irish Joe has been tossed out of another bar into a puddle of water on the street. He stumbles towards his girlfriend's house and knocks on the door. His girlfriend, an obviously non-Irish Mexican, attempts to force her ex-boyfriend away. Yet the potato armies have begun their assault on the little town. The first potato, now the king of the new sentient plant species, eyes the girlfriend with dark intent.

"You shall be my queen." he says before kidnapping the girlfriend. Irish Joe fights off the vegetable soldiers as he tries to get to his girlfriend. But she's already too far gone, dragged off by the potato ruler.

The middle of the movie, a good forty minutes, is spent with Irish Joe training in a grassy forest with his older brother, Marcel Mackerel, who speaks in riddles and vague codes. The movie screeches to a halt as Irish Joe and Marcel Mackerel train in various montages while speaking vaguely about the war that is to come.

Finally, with twenty minutes left in the movie, Marcel and Joe prepare to assault the giant fortress of the potato king, a poorly made model castle with obvious dried glue on several parts. The battle is made up of stock footage of soldiers firing upon the fortress and Irish Joe moving in and cutting down the potatoes and other living vegetables with his sword. Various shots of potatoes being cut apart are reused to increase the movie's running time. Eventually Joe comes to the throne room, where the evil potato ruler waits with Joe's girlfriend. Irish Joe and the giant potato battle each other. Or rather, the Irish Joe swings his sword at what is obviously a blue screen with the video of a lashing Claymation potato imposed upon the screen.

"Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to. Either way, your dead, plant." Irish Joe says as he disembowels the king potato, spilling its mushy inners out onto the floor. The movie wraps up as Irish Joe embraces his girlfriend in a kiss. The actress is repulsed by the sloppy kiss as her face contorts with disgust. Irish Joe and his girlfriend run back out of the castle as footage shows the building explode. Irish Joe stands unharmed with his girlfriend as they watch flashes of white meant to represent the explosion. Irish Joe begins a final speech as the movie comes to a close.

"It seems it is over, yet a day may come wh-"

The sound cuts off at the end, leaving Irish Joe muttering an epic speech silently as the camera continues rolling. Wendy and the twins begin laughing as a screechy, poorly record song begins playing over the misspelled credits.

"That was fucking awesome." Wendy says.

"I know, right?" Mabel replies as she turns to Wendy. Seeing Wendy, with her red hair, pale face, and minty breath puts a strange feeling in Mabel's heart. Mabel ignores her heart's unknown desires as she turns back to the movie. Dipper goes to retrieve the film and put it back in its case.

"Like, this had to have been made intentionally bad." Wendy says.

"Mabel and I looked up the movie a couple years back. Apparently the writer wanted to make a film against the scientific modification of food. Then the director, some guy who OD'd a couple years after the movie, wanted to make some sci-fi epic. So no, this was made completely straight-faced."

"That just makes it funnier."

"Well then, we'll celebrate again in two weeks!" Mabel says cheerfully.

"You know, Mabel and Dipper, every day is awesome with you two. I mean that."

"Thanks." Dipper says as he smiles warmly.

Over the next few weeks the twins and their roommate continue to work, coming home to relax and chat during the evenings. The twins and Wendy stay close together as they take turns running errands and helping to split the bills. Yet, when Mabel is busy with a project or her job, Dipper and Wendy hang out like the best of friends. He spends just as much time with Wendy as he does with Mabel.

Mabel begins to grow slightly annoyed of the attention her brother gives the twins' roommate. Mabel lies awake in the bed as her brother snores next to her. Mabel can't sleep with Wendy on her mind.

She isn't simply jealous of Wendy taking her brother away. She wants to be a part of their conversations. She wants to butt in and spend time with both Dipper and Wendy. She wants to sit next to Wendy, enjoying the scent of her minty toothpaste when it combines with the hint of alcohol. Mabel comes to realize that her feelings for Wendy have become far more than platonic.

"Uh oh."

The next day becomes awkward for the alpha twin she watches Wendy walk through the kitchen. Mabel looks away as Wendy comes back and sits on the couch next to her.

"Something wrong, Mabel?"

"Eh, nothing really."

"Come on, you can tell me."

"It's just… oh, would you look at the time! I've got to work on that thing I was doing."

Mabel dashes off the couch and returns to her room to focus on her art project. She buries herself in the picture she's drawing while Dipper returns from the bathroom.

"Is Mabel okay?" Wendy asks.

"As far as I know. What's wrong?"

"She, well, she's been acting weird all morning."

"I didn't see anything."

"Well, it's just like she's been avoiding me, or something."

"Huh. I'll go see what's wrong."

"Alright. Well, I've got to get to work. I'll see you later. Love you guys."

"Bye."

Dipper walks into the twins' room. Mabel is scribbling intensely, ignoring all signals from the outside world. Dipper waits for a lull in her passionate drawing before confronting her.

"Mabel? Are you feeling alright?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. Fine. I'm perfectly normal."

"Well, normal is relative. But seriously, what's bothering you?"

Mabel moves away from the desk and sits on the bed with her brother.

"Well, it's just… ugh, this is soooo stupid."

Mabel takes her arms into her shirt and buries her face in a pillow.

"Hey, I'm here for you."

"Well, it's, like. I don't know why, but, for some reason, my brain thinks Wendy is pretty."

"Wait, you mean, like, hot?"

"Yes, that word."

"Well, she is, but… you mean like, 'I've got the vapors?'" Dipper says, speaking in an exaggerated southern accent. Mabel nods from behind the pillow. Dipper smirks at his sister's goofy behavior, finding it adorable.

"It's alright, Mabel. I mean, to be honest, parts of my brain have been going loopy since she's back in our lives. But that's the thing. It's just our brains acting silly."

"Ugh, but why me? I've only ever really liked boys and you."

"I'm not a boy?" Dipper says while chuckling lightly. Mabel moves her head away from the pillow.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah. I guess it's just that, well, we've all gotten really close since we live together. It'll just be a phase our loopy minds will sort through."

"Alright. Yeah, it'll just be a goofy phase."

Dipper and Mabel get up, ready to start the day together while dealing with their romantic feelings for their friend. On Saturday, Wendy stretches before getting ready to leave work. She spots Joe hanging outside the restaurant.

"Oh, hello again." Wendy says.

"Hi… you know, I was wondering. Do you want to go out sometime?"

"You know what? Okay."

"Great. So, uh, would six o'clock tomorrow be good? I can get us a reservation at Benito's."

"How about Monday?"

"Alright. That'd be great."

"I'll meet you there."

Wendy drives home and walks through the door. She hums a happy tune as she comes in and greets the twins.

"Hello Wendy. I see you're in a good mood." Dipper says.

"Oh, it's nothing. Joe just asked me out."

"That's not nothing!" Mabel says.

"Hey, it's just a date. Don't even know if I like him."

"Well, my sister, Mabel will make sure your date is da bomb."

"No, it's alright. Honestly."

"Alright. But don't come crying to me when chaos takes over."

Wendy smirks while joining the twins in the kitchen.

Come Monday, Mabel is walking out of her last class when she's stopped by one of the other students in the hallway. She's barely ever spoken with him, but now she's ready for the inevitable request for a date. Mabel looks at his spiked hair and smirks in amusement.

"_That look does not suit you pal._" she thinks.

"Hey buddy." he says.

"What's up?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to go out sometime."

"Aren't you dating that one girl?"

"Jessica? Eh, we broke up. So, what do you say?"

"No thanks. Already got a boyfriend."

"Alright."

Mabel leaves her last class and drives home. She greets Waddles at the door and takes him to use the bathroom. Mabel walks in and collapses on the couch, letting out a loud burp before turning on the television. Several hours later, Mabel goes to retrieve her brother. Dipper moves into the front seat and kisses Mabel.

"What's up, Mabel?"

"Not much. Classes were okay, Waddles is having fun. Got hit on by a goofball."

"Is he cute?"

"Pffft. Not as cute as you. Anyways, what's up with your kids?"

"John's making progress with his social skills. Lou just lost his pet crab."

"Awww."

"I know. Poor kid was crying his eyes out all morning."

"Rip Mr. Crabbies."

"That's his name, actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Rip Mr. Crabbies."

The twins head home for the day. Wendy has begun to prepare for her date with Joe. Wendy comes out of the room wearing a red dress that looks darker against her pale skin, and black eyeliner. As she steps out of the room, the twins both stare awe-struck at her beauty.

"Wowzies." Mabel says as her heart flutters.

"Do I look good?" Wendy asks.

"You look fantabulous, Wendy."

"Great. I'll see you guys later."

Wendy waves at the twins before leaving on her date. Mabel relaxes on the couch while Dipper rubs her feet. She sighs contently while petting Waddles on the head.

"This is nice." Dipper says.

Mabel and Dipper take their intimacy towards the bedroom. They lie down while cuddling with Waddles, only half paying attention to the television. Dipper takes out the laptop and begins the weekly call to his parents.

"Hi." Mabel says with a happy wave.

"Hello. Where'd Wendy go?" Mr. Pines says.

"She's got a boyfriend tonight."

"Who is he?"

"Haven't met him yet."

"So Dipper, what's new with your class?" Mrs. Pines asks.

"Well, John's starting to talk with the other kids a lot more."

"That's good. How are your classes, Mabel?"

"Pretty good, although I got hit on by some doofus with a bad hairdo."

"Hey! I'm right here!" Dipper says. Mabel and her mother laugh while the twins' father chuckles awkwardly, still not fully understanding of the twins' relationship.

"So, are you going to see that Star Fighters movie?" Mrs. Pines asks.

"Yeah, most likely. It looks pretty good. But what's happening with you guys?"

"Nothing really. Still got work. Hoping I can get a raise."

"That'd be nice. What are you up to, Dad?" Mabel says.

"Met up with Johnny. He came visiting his parents. Asked where you two were. Told him you were both in Portland."

The twins and their parents talk long into the night, bringing each other up on how the week was. Dipper and Mabel shut the laptop off and prepare to go to bed. The twins hear Wendy come through the door late in the night.

"Come on, Joe."

"Don't you have roommates?"

"They're probably asleep by now."

Dipper smirks as he hears Wendy come in with her boyfriend. Mabel is curious, as the boyfriend's voice sounds familiar. Mabel stands up and heads towards the door to see who Wendy's boyfriend is.

"Snooping around?"

"I just need to check something."

Mabel sticks her head out of the door and rapidly moves back in.

"Are they getting to intimate?"

"I'm going to kill him." Mabel mutters.

"What?"

"Joe. That's Joe, the guy who asked me out." Mabel says as her face turns into a scowl. Dipper's smile fades into a blank face.

"You're sure?"

"Yes. I can recognize that lame haircut anywhere."

Mabel prepares to storm off and pound Joe into the ground. Dipper grabs her shoulder and pulls her back.

"This requires… a less blunt approach. If you start beating him right in front of Wendy, she'll just think you've lost your mind."

"What do we do?"

"Well, I'm going to get a look at that phone of his. I figured we'll get the numbers of everyone he's cheating on. We should tell them all. If you storm out, he might panic and just leave."

Dipper looks out, spotting Joe's phone sticking out of his coat pocket. Dipper leaves the room, moving past the couch like a shadow. Wendy looks at him as he seems to walk towards the kitchen, but Joe hasn't even spotted him. Dipper finds the phone and turns the volume down in case anyone calls. He slides his finger across the smartphone before landing on the contacts. He looks through the names of Joe's contacts and finds a folder simply named "GF."

Dipper opens it and searches through the names. The names all appear to be female. Dipper goes towards the W's and finds Wendy's name. Dipper clenches his fists in anger. He slides the phone into his pocket. Then, out of petty revenge, Dipper steals the coat and slides it on. The long overcoat is loose around his body, giving him a raggedy, unkempt look.

"Nice coat." Dipper whispers to himself.

Dipper returns to the living room and stares as Wendy and Joe begin kissing. Dipper uses Joe's umbrella and taps the television to catch Wendy's and Joe's attention.

"Dip, what are you wearing?" Wendy asks.

"Hey, that's my coat!"

Joe steps off the couch and goes to confront Dipper, who simply stands in place, smirking.

"Hello… friend. Ol' pal, my very merry chum. You've been naughty, haven't you?"

Joe grabs Dipper in anger while the twin simply grins.

"Joe, let him go." Wendy says.

"You should listen to your girlfriend, Joe… Or is your GF Abigail?"

"What?" Joe says. He pushes Dipper back, who simply chuckles, amused at Joe's stupidity.

"Abigail Hopkins. Jessica Preston. And now, Wendy Corduroy. You were going for a new record, though. You also asked out a certain classmate of yours."

Wendy stares in confusion at Dipper as Joe begins to panic. Dipper's smile fades into an angry frown as Mabel steps out of the room, snarling with anger. Joe's face turns pale with worry as his peer stomps into the room.

"Joe, you piece of shit."

"W-w-wait, I can explain."

"Yes, explain to me and Wendy why you asked me out at school even though you already had a girlfriend!"

"Joe?" Wendy says in a hurt voice.

"It's not what it looks like."

Joe begins stuttering in panic while Wendy and Mabel eye him, ready to pounce at a moment's notice. Several tears form in Wendy's eyes as she gets ready to beat her boyfriend into the ground. Dipper, however, whistles happily while walking up to Joe.

"Well then Joe. You went and broke my best friend's heart. I don't like that. So here's the deal. There is a serrated bread knife in one of the kitchen draws. I'm going to go get it now. If you're still here by the time I get back, then you're going to lose something far more valuable than a coat and a phone."

Dipper begins humming a happy tune while casually strolling towards the kitchen. He hears the sound of footsteps dashing towards the entrance, and then the door swinging open and hitting the wall. Dipper walks towards the entrance and closes the door. He returns to the living room. Wendy sits on the couch, frowning silently as Mabel wraps Wendy in a hug. Dipper goes to the twins' room and searches through his dresser. He finds a slip of paper and a pen and walks back into the living room. Dipper sits next to Mabel as he begins writing down the phone numbers for all of Joe's contacts. Dipper writes down the girlfriends' numbers, his friends' contacts, and his parents' home phone.

"What are you doing?" Wendy asks.

"Going to let everyone know how much trash he is."

"Give me some of the numbers." Mabel says.

Dipper tears the paper in half, giving Mabel two of Joe's girlfriends' numbers and his parents. The twins spend the night calling Joe's girlfriends and explaining the situation to them. Abigail cries and becomes defensive before accepting the truth. Jessica had wondered if he was cheating, and now she has confirmation from Mabel. Wendy leans into Mabel for support.

"Sorry he turned out to be a jerk."

"Thanks, Mabel… I… thanks for helping."

"Always."

Wendy turns towards Dipper as he stares into space, not sure how to help the situation.

"Thanks for scaring him out."

Dipper turns towards Wendy and nods. Wendy stumbles back to her room while the twins go back to bed. Dipper turns towards Mabel and pulls her into an embrace.

The next day, Dipper wakes up to the sound of Wendy talking. He wonders if she's speaking with Mabel before realizing Mabel is right next to him.

"So, uh, sorry to tell you. But I figured if anyone could knock some sense into him, it'd be his mother."

Wendy turns the phone off and stares at the phone. Dipper moves away from Mabel and silently dresses. He comes out of the room and sits next to Wendy.

"Hey." he says weakly. Wendy turns to him and sighs.

"So, you told his parents?"

"Yeah. I started the call sort of wanting to fuck his life up… But now… well, his mom seemed to take it pretty hard."

"Well, the truth is important. They probably would have found out anyways after their son ran home to escape his twenty pissed off ex-girlfriends armed with scissors."

Wendy chuckles sadly while moving closer. She grabs Dipper's hand and smiles into his eyes.

"You… you're a good friend, Dipstick. Glad I found out from you and Mabel instead of… Abigail or whoever."

"Thanks."

"… how come you were, like, smiling at Joe? You didn't look angry, almost like you liked it."

"I was angry. I was really fucking pissed. But that's just what assholes expect. A big, grumpy frown. Smiling like you're all best buddies tends to make them wonder what sort of mental disorder you have. I wanted to fuck with him."

"Spooky."

"I do my best."

Mabel stumbles out of the bedroom with sleepy eyes. Wendy instinctually moves her hand away from Dipper's. Dipper turns to her, his eyebrows raised in surprise. Wendy steps off the couch and walks towards the kitchen. She fetches a bottle of brandy and pours a shot.

"Hey, it's not even lunch time." Mabel says.

"I'm fine. I can handle it. Just need a little buzz to start my day."

"Well, just don't get too crazy."

"I won't. I'm good."

A week later, Wendy is drinking late into the night. She's wobbling in a tipsy fashion as she watches the television. Mabel stumbles out of the room to fetch a glass of water when Wendy stands up and heads over to the kitchen.

"Hey, Mabesss."

"You, madam, are drunk. Or as I like to call it, fun mode."

"Youuu gots that right, toots." Wendy says before letting out a large burp.

"What's going on?"

"It's just, like, uggghhh. Joe's such a dick."

"Yeah. Good thing Dipper kicked him out."

"Teach that sssshit a lesson."

Wendy smiles as she looks at Mabel. Wendy takes in the sight of Mabel; her hair is unkempt, her eyes are drowsy with sleep, but she still manages to bear a warm smile. The smile that makes every cruel thing in life seem small and pointless. Wendy lets out a choked sigh, back on the verge of tears.

"I'm soorrry, but I really think you're cute."

"Gee, thanks."

"No, like, _cute_. You and Dipstick."

Mabel begins blushing at Wendy's drunken confession.

"So… you like both of us?"

"Yeah. I like, really, like you two. And I know I just dumped a jerk-face for doing the same thing, but you're both reeaaallly awesome, and I'm sorry I'm so screwy. Like, it's-"

Wendy begins crying at her seemingly messed up nature.

"Hey, you're not screwy. I mean, look at us! Twins with a freaky deaky incest dealy going on. And what Joe did was wrong. He lied like a little shithead. If we're being perfectly honest, I don't see why three-way relationships can't work out if every dude's honest about it."

"Thanks. You… you and Dip, you're so awesome you don't even know it."

"Thank you."

"Yeah, and and, like, I need to use the bathroom."

Wendy stumbles past Mabel and heads to the bathroom. She forgets to close the door as she sits down on the toilet. Mabel looks away from the bathroom as she stares awkwardly towards the bedroom. Mabel begins blushing at the realization that she said a three-way relationship was fine and meant it. She was perfectly willing to start something, even if it made things more complicated. Wendy stumbles out of the bathroom and goes to bed. Mabel turns the light off and goes back to the twins' room. She slowly moves in so she doesn't wake Dipper. Mabel begins thinking back to Wendy's confession.

"_Could it work? Like, it makes boy-girlfriend complications multiply by a hundred, but it could, right?_"

Mabel falls asleep thinking about how a relationship with Wendy could work. She dreams of being in a large ballroom with Dipper. The two dance amongst a crowd of nondescript faces. Mabel has had similar dreams before. But the dream takes a new turn as Wendy walks up. The twins and Wendy begin dancing together in a perfect circle as their legs seem to move into each other. The ballroom cheers for the three

Mabel wakes from her dream once the sun is up. She sighs as she turns to Dipper.

"Is something up?"

"Well, Wendy sort of… confessed last night."

"What do you mean?"

"Apparently, she thinks we're both… hot."

The twins begin blushing at the realization.

"Well, I guess… what do we do?" Dipper says.

"I… um… we both still like her, right?"

"Uh, yeah, I do… are you saying… what I think you're saying?"

"Uh… yes."

Dipper takes in a deep breath and exhales through his nose. Dipper knows he loves Mabel above everyone else. He also knows that he has begun to view Wendy as beautiful and awesome. And the fact that all three had the same desire made him wonder if it could work.

"We could… we could try. Just go on a date, or something, and see where it goes from there."

"Alright."

In an hour, Wendy wakes up from her drunken sleep. She mumbles in pain at the throbbing in her head. The twins wait outside, watching the television on mute to prevent further agony to Wendy. After thirty minutes, Wendy stumbles out of the bedroom and goes to the kitchen. The twins walk in to speak with her. Dipper twiddles his thumbs like he's back to being an awkward twelve year old while Mabel seems interested in several crumbs on the floor. Wendy turns around with a cup of coffee in her hand, sipping to try and numb the effects of the hangover.

"Sorry about getting smashed. I haven't done that in a while."

"That's fine." Mabel replies.

"So, what's up?" Wendy asks. Dipper turns to her and begins to speak.

"Well, uh, we were kind of wondering… do you… ugh, this should be easy."

"Is something wrong?"

"Well, Dipper and I wanted to know if, maybe, you wanted to go out with us?"

"Sure, where do you want go?"

"I mean, as a… as a date."

"Huh?"

"See, in your happy state last night, you kind of let slip that you like both of us. So we, dealing with the same goofy feelings, wondered if it could work out."

"I, uh… really? You really want to try this?"

"Yeah."

"Yes." Dipper replies.

"Well, alright."

"So, you want to go on a date?"

"Why not stay here? It'll be cheaper."

"Spoken like a true Grunkle."

Wendy chuckles before shoving Dipper back playfully. The powerful woman sends Dipper falling backwards. Mabel catches her brother and helps him stand back up.

"Sorry."

"It's alright. So, breakfast?"

"Sure. I'm hungry."

"I'm starving." Mabel says as she holds her stomach.

Dipper and his sister begin preparing the meal while Wendy sits with her cup of coffee.

"So, how are your classes going, Mabel?" Wendy asks.

"Pretty good, although the organic chemistry teacher is now a confirmed buttface. He doesn't appreciate the sophistications of my inner mind."

"Sucks to not know about fun." Dipper says.

"Sounds like a jerk." Wendy adds.

"He is. All old and grumpy."

Dipper and Mabel prepare the meal of eggs, toast, and sausage. Dipper hands Wendy her plate before sitting down.

"So Wendy, are you alright? You did get a bit wibbly yesterday." Mabel asks.

"Eh just all this shit recently. Job crap, jerky ex crap, Dad calling and trying to convince me to come back, and wondering why I started loving two very awesome, incredible twins."

"Awe." Mabel says. Wendy snickers embarrassedly.

"Yeah. I won't be a drunken slob anymore."

"What's happening with the job?" Dipper asks.

"Boss is pushing me for, well, not really 'favors' but to go out on a date or something."

"Ew. Isn't he, like, sixty?" Mabel says.

"Forty two."

"Yuck. That's like Grunkle Stan old."

"I wouldn't go that far."

"Well, Stan does look pretty spry for his age." Dipper says.

"Yeah. He probably found some sort of age-time slowing device." Mabel replies.

"Or he beat the grim reaper in a card game."

Wendy laughs with the twins as she sips her beverage.

After breakfast, Dipper goes to take Waddles outside for a walk. Mabel sits down on the couch with Wendy, leaning in much closer than before. Mabel feels her heart flutter in a way that only Dipper was able to do before.

"Budump. Budump. Budump."

"What are you saying?" Wendy asks.

"That's the sound of my chest exploding from being this close with you."

Wendy laughs embarrassedly. Dipper returns from the walk to find the two watching the television.

"Room for one more?"

"Get over here, Dipper." Mabel says.

Dipper sits on the couch next to his sister. The three relax lazily as the television becomes white noise.

The twins and Wendy begin an odd, new relationship. Dipper finds himself constantly second guessing several of his decisions. He wonders if it's alright to kiss Wendy or Mabel in front of the other. He doesn't know how to spend the days together. He doesn't know if he should hold both of their hands or switch every ten minutes. He begins writing a handholding and kissing schedule for their intimate moments before realizing how absurd it is. He crumples the paper up and throws it in the trash bin by his desk. He thinks to how Mabel behaves; how she's always able to jump into new things and seems to instinctually know what to do.

"_Well, maybe that's it. Just jump in and don't be a selfish dick._"

"Just jump in."

Dipper goes to join Wendy and Mabel on the couch.

"So, do you want to go out somewhere?" Mabel asks.

"Alright." Wendy replies.

"I'm up for it."

The twins and Wendy head for their separate rooms. Dipper puts on a nice tuxedo and black slacks while wearing the overcoat he stole from Joe. Mabel wears a bright yellow dress like a sunflower. Dipper smiles warmly at Mabel's beauty. Dipper and Mabel step out of the room to greet Wendy, who wears the sparkling red dress from before.

"Looking good." Dipper says.

"Thanks. So, let's get going."

Dipper, Mabel, and Wendy get in the twins' car and head out. Wendy points the twins' in the direction of the restaurant that her ex took her too. The twins step out and look at the restaurant, wondering how they're going to afford it.

"Is this one of them super fancy places?" Mabel asks.

"It's not too bad, pricewise."

"That's good. I got worried when they put their name in cursive."

"Huh?"

"Cursive. The sign of an establishment that thinks it's better than everyone else."

Dipper walks into the restaurant with his two girlfriends. Dipper and Mabel walk up to the server at the front.

"Ah, how many this evening?"

"Three." Mabel replies.

The three lovers walk towards their booth and sit down.

"Nice place." Dipper says.

Dipper leans back into the booth as Mabel scoots closer to the three, not caring if anyone looks or judges the three for their relationship. Dipper looks over the prices as a group of friends walk into the restaurant.

"Oh, hey Mabel!" one of her friends from school says. Mabel waves as her four friends come over.

"Hello, fellows."

"So what are you doing here?"

"Here with my besties. This is Dipper."

"So this is the awesome hunky boyfriend."

Dipper giggles at the word hunky, feeling embarrassed at the discussion about his body.

"How come you aren't sitting together?"

"Well, me and Dipper both moved in with this awesome lumberjack here, and all of us sort of started getting fluttery feelings for the other. So we just started this thing between us."

"Strange."

"Not really." Dipper says defensively.

"Well, alright, we'll leave you to your… thing."

Mabel's friends head to another table.

"Well, they're going to be gossiping about us later." Wendy says.

"Let them. I love you Wendy, Mabel loves you, and who cares who knows it."

"You got that right, bro."

"Love you too, Dipper."

Dipper jumps in completely with Wendy and Mabel. And he finds that, contrary to his fears, that there isn't a big, sudden change between the three. They sit closer than usual, they kiss together, but they remain the closest friends.

"It's weird. I thought there was going to be this big, sudden change. Like everything would be different." Dipper says.

"What do you mean?" Wendy asks.

"Well, the three of us, together. I guess I kind of thought everything would be new and weird, but it's not."

"Are you, like, disappointed?"

"No. I like it. I like it a lot."

After the meal, Dipper walks with his two lovers out to the car.

"So, how did you like it?" Dipper asks.

"Better than the last time. For a cheater, Joe's a bit of a lame duck." Wendy responds.

"I liked it too. What about you, Mabel?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I had a good time."

"What are you thinking about?"

"Oh, just… stuff."

"Stuff?"

"_Stuff._" Mabel says, emphasizing 'stuff' with a sultry tone. Dipper takes a deep breath as he drives back to the condo.

Wendy and the twins take turns getting ready for bed. Dipper and Mabel brush their teeth while Wendy sits on the couch, ready for the next step in the three lovers' relationship. Dipper and Mabel walk over and sit next to Wendy. Mabel and Wendy kiss, but this time their kiss becomes far more heated than usual. Dipper watches as Mabel and Wendy continue kissing. Dipper can see their tongues curl about when their lips move.

"Mabel, Wendy. I love you." Dipper says with a smile.

Dipper rises while holding Mabel's hand, beckoning her to stand with him. Dipper begins slowly kissing Mabel while running his hands through her hair. Wendy bites her bottom lip as the twins kiss before her. Mabel parts with her brother while beckoning Wendy to join them. Wendy stands up and moves in close with the twins, standing several inches taller than her two friends. Wendy moves in close with Mabel. Dipper watches with a heated gaze as his two lovers kiss each other. Wendy moves away from Mabel and turns towards Dipper, who stands smiling with a serene face, happy to be with Mabel and Wendy. Wendy pulls him into a kiss. The combination of Wendy's minty breath and Mabel's strawberry toothpaste sends Dipper's mind over the edge. He closes his eyes in bliss at the feeling of Wendy's mouth. Her tongue moves past his teeth and flicks against his tongue. Dipper's desires become far more intimate. He slides his hand up the back of Wendy's shirt, caressing her back. Mabel begins blushing deeply at the sight of her brother and Wendy kissing sensually. Mabel grabs ahold of her partners' hands. She begins pulling the two towards the bedroom.

Wendy and Dipper follow Mabel into the twins' room and shut the door, leaving Waddles in the living room. Wendy begins lifting up her shirt as Dipper and Mabel unhook her bra. Wendy's pale skin only makes her nipples seem brighter and redder. Dipper begins unbuttoning his shirt, but an impatient Mabel rips it open. Mabel begins lifting off her shirt and removing her bra while Dipper slides her skirt and panties down. Wendy bites her bottom lip in desire at the sight of Mabel naked. Dipper finishes removing his clothes while Mabel drags Wendy's jeans and panties down. Mabel lets out a small squeak.

"You okay?" Wendy asks.

"Uh, yeah… just… didn't expect… matching colors…"

Wendy flushes embarrassedly as Mabel stands back up and looks at her two lovers. The group moves in close and exchanges lustful kisses as they move onto the bed. Wendy grabs hold of Dipper's throbbing member and begins stroking while Dipper tastes Mabel's erect nipples. Mabel grabs her brother's head and keeps him to her as Wendy takes Dipper's penis into her mouth. She begins sucking sensually while fondling his testicles in her hands. Dipper moans in delight as Mabel forces his head down. She positions her body over his face and lowers her legs onto Dipper's head. Dipper begins lapping up her juices as his tongue moves through the layers of Mabel's vagina. Mabel moans as she holds onto her brother's head, forcing him to stay in her. Wendy begins masturbating as she continues to suck and lick Dipper's member. Wendy moves faster and faster until Dipper nears the breaking point. She stops just as he is ready to cum. Dipper's body jolts in pleasure as Mabel moves off of him.

Dipper and Mabel pant with delight as Wendy sits up, ready for more. Mabel crawls across the bed towards Wendy. The pair begin kissing as Dipper breaths deeply to regain his stamina.

"I think you did a number on your brother."

"He'll be fine in a second."

Dipper takes in one last deep breath before leaning up to join Mabel and Wendy. Wendy and Dipper begin kissing while leaning down. Dipper starts massaging Wendy's breasts as Mabel positions herself above Wendy's vagina, feeling the heat. Mabel moves in and begins licking Wendy's vulva and clitoris. Mabel enjoys the ticklish sensation of Wendy's pubic hair as she continues to thrust her tongue into Wendy's growing wetness. Dipper delicately plays with Wendy's nipples as the two kiss deeply. Wendy moves her hand down and begins stroking Dipper's throbbing penis. Wendy moans into Dipper's mouth as Mabel continues forcing her tongue deep into Wendy, sucking in the juices and moistness. Wendy's legs jolt in pleasure as she orgasms, spraying Mabel's face. Mabel moves up and wipes the juices with her hand and delicately sucks on her fingers, enjoying every drop of the taste. Dipper leaves the bed and fumbles through his dresser while Mabel moves up to Wendy, who begins fingering the twin. Dipper returns with a condom and positions himself. Dipper guides penis into Wendy and begins moving.

"Oh, fuck." Wendy mutters in ecstasy.

She shakes and quivers with the pleasures after her orgasm as Dipper continues building speed. Mabel watches Wendy's body convulse and Dipper's heated, instinctual need as his body moves and thrusts forward. Wendy begins fingering Mabel rapidly. The three partners moan and grunt in pleasure as the twins near their climax. Dipper thrusts in with a near inhuman speed as he orgasms, letting his seed pour out into the condom. Dipper moves up to kiss Wendy as Mabel reaches her climax. She throws her head back and shivers as her heavenly moans pierce the ears of her lovers. Mabel shakes through the rest of her orgasm before collapsing into her brother. Dipper pulls his sister into an embrace as the twins roll over and lie next to Wendy.

"Oh… oh shit, that was good." Wendy mutters.

"Yeah… that was… that was great." Dipper says. The three lovers rest on the sweat soaked bed as they steady their breathing. Mabel turns over and faces her two lovers.

"Sooo, which twin would you rate higher?" Mabel asks.

"Mabel, really?" Dipper says in disbelief. Wendy chuckles at the two while she ponders Mabel's question.

"Well, Dipper has the stamina, but I'd say you're far more into it."

"Yes! Alpha twin! Alpha twin!"

"Hey!" Dipper says in a mock offended tone. Mabel grins mischievously as she moves onto Dipper. She kneels on all fours as she smiles at him. Dipper returns her smile as Mabel moves in for a kiss. Dipper places his hand on her red, pink cheek as Mabel wraps her arms around his head. Wendy turns over and watches the twins' passion. They both turn their eyes to Wendy, remembering that they have another lover now. Mabel smirks devilishly as she jumps at Wendy and starts kissing her. Dipper finds his erection growing again as he watches Mabel's and Wendy's breasts brush together.

"Ready for round two?" Mabel asks. Dipper grins as he moves over and grabs ahold of Mabel's butt. Mabel moves on all fours while kissing Wendy. Dipper positions himself behind Mabel, looking down her back and butt. Dipper puts kisses down Mabel's back as he moves lower and lower. Mabel holds back her giggles as Dipper kisses her butt-cheeks sensually, enjoying every sensation of Mabel's body. Dipper moves back up and slides his penis into Mabel. Mabel moans into Wendy's mouth as she slides her hand down, reaching into Wendy's vagina. Dipper continues to build speed as Mabel fingers Wendy. Dipper hunches over and kisses his sister's back as he continues to thrust faster and faster. Wendy reaches her hands up and begins fondling Mabel's creamy breasts as Mabel slides her fingers along Wendy's clitoris and pushes deep within her. Mabel's squeals and moans with heavenly delight. Wendy moans in a deep, sultry voice as her hips spasm with pleasure. Dipper can feel himself nearing a second orgasm. He moves his hand below and begins flicking and spreading Mabel's vagina lips to bring her closer to her climax. Dipper thrusts and smacks into Mabel as he forces in the last of his energy.

"Oh fuck!" Mabel screams. Dipper continues pounding in as Mabel's legs shake with pleasure. Mabel's head falls to Wendy's chest as her fingers pull out. Wendy grunts in frustration as she feels her orgasm escape. Dipper, realizing that Wendy hadn't cum, moves below his sister and dives into Wendy's crotch. He begins licking and flicking his tongue around and thrusting in. Dipper uses his thumb and finger to massage Wendy's clitoris, savoring the smell suffocating his senses. Mabel falls to the side of Wendy, panting and trying to steady her breathing. Dipper continues licking and flicking his tongue around as his fingers rub Wendy's soaked womanhood. Wendy convulses as she orgasms a second time, spraying Dipper in her thralls of ecstasy. Dipper crawls up and falls down between his two girlfriends. The three lovers lie breathless as they lose their sense of time.

"That… was amazing." Dipper says. Wendy turns over and looks over the twins while resting her head in her hand.

"I… I really freaking love you guys." Wendy says.

"Love you too." Dipper replies.

"Lovey dovey dove you three." Mabel adds. Wendy lies down on Dipper's chest while Mabel moves closer to her brother. The three lie silently, listening to the sounds and movements of each other. Mabel goes to open the door for Waddles before heading back and lifting the blanket over the three. The exhausted lovers begin to fall asleep.

"Good night, bro."

"Good night Mabel, good night Wendy."

Wendy mumbles tiredly in response as she turns over with a pillow. Dipper looks towards Mabel as she turns off the light.

"How did we get so lucky?" Dipper whispers.

"I know, right? You got your childhood crush, and I got a sexy lumberjack!"

Dipper kisses Mabel one last time before the twins fall into a deep sleep, exhausted from the night's sexual heaven.

The following morning, the three lovers wake up in the aftermath of their night of fun. Dipper wakes up with Mabel snoring in his arms. Wendy is already out and walking around the house. All she wears is her bra and panties. Dipper waits with his sister until she wakes up. The twins stretch and move as they regain awareness. Mabel moves out of the bed with Waddles as Dipper goes to take a shower. Several minutes later, he's joined by his sister.

"There you are."

"Hi Mabel."

"Ready for some fun?"

"Really?"

"No, I'm still pooped."

"Same. I think my dick is broken."

Mabel laughs at Dipper as she begins washing her hair. Dipper and Mabel wash the smell and sweat off from the night before. The twins exit the shower and go to dress, taking in the smell of their room.

"You think we should wash this?" Mabel asks.

"Ah, it's fine. Nobody else is showing up anytime soon."

"Alright. I guess it'll be fine."

Dipper shakes the blanket before setting the bed while Mabel goes to start making breakfast. Dipper joins his sister in the kitchen, who's receiving help from Wendy. Dipper sits down and rubs his back while cracking his wrists.

"So, ready to meet with that buttheaded chemistry teacher?" Dipper asks.

"Ugh, don't remind me."

The three partners eat their breakfast together. Mabel gives Dipper, Wendy, and Waddles a kiss before leaving for the university. Dipper sits down on the couch with Wendy as the two begin watching the television.

"So, want to go a couple rounds in Smash Bros.?"

"Sure, I just… oh crap, I forgot to call Mom and Dad last night."

"Well, give 'em a call now."

"Yeah. I'll… I'll tell them something happened last night."

"Something awesome."

Dipper smiles in response as he takes his cellphone out and calls his parents.

"Hey Mom."

"Dipper, there you are. You missed the call."

"Yeah, Mabel and I were busy and forgot."

"Well, Dad and I both took the day off so you can call us now, right?"

"Uh, sure. I'll get everything set up."

Dipper turns the phone off and gets his laptop out. Dipper calls his parents on the video phone. The twins' mother waves from the other end of the screen.

"Hi." Dipper replies.

"So, what's new?"

"Not much, not much. Kids at my daycare are doing fine. Except Joey, he's a bit spoiled and whiny."

"Well, he's four. You and Mabel were something else."

"Yeah, I know." Dipper says. Wendy laughs at Dipper as his face turns away in embarrassment.

"So Wendy, how's the job?"

"Oh, it's fine. My boss is bugging me for a date, but he's… meh."

"Why's he 'meh?'"

"He's older, and he's odd, and he's just… blargh."

Dipper and his mother chuckle at Wendy's use of Mabel's made up word.

"So, do you have a special someone in your life yet?"

"Well, there's this guy who's pretty awesome."

"What's his name?"

"Oh, um, Tyrone."

"Cat got your tongue there?" Mrs. Pines asks with a smile.

"Yeah. Brain's all fried from last night. Drank a bit too much. So, what's happening with you guys?"

"I've got a raise, which is good."

"That's nice."

Mrs. Pines is joined by her husband.

"Hi Dad."

"Hey? So, what's new with you two?"

"Nothing really. I got a new boyfriend."

"Who is it?"

"Tyrone. He's pretty awesome. A lot better than the last jerk."

"That's good."

"So, did you solve that computer issue yet?" Dipper asks.

"No, not yet. I'm going to run the virus scanner again, hopefully the full scan can find something."

"Which scanner do you got?"

"I've got that Megablock Plus."

"Oh, I'd try AGG. Last I heard Megablock was selling out. Putting its own adware and junk on computers while not bothering to update the database."

"Really?"

"Yeah, they've gone to crap. Sucks."

"That's annoying."

Dipper and Wendy continue speaking with his parents. The four chat and laugh together, but Mrs. Pines begins noticing something about Dipper. She knows he gets a certain look in his eyes when he looks towards Mabel. A happy, serene smile that shows how much he loves her. Yet Dipper is doing the same with Wendy, who also seems far closer to Dipper than before. Mrs. Pines asks her husband to go make some coffee. Once he's in the kitchen, she turns back to the screen to confront her son.

"So Dipper, what's been happening between you and Wendy?"

"Oh, uh, not much." he says in a slightly surprised voice. The small twinge of fear is enough for Mrs. Pines to figure out that something is up between the two.

"What are you two doing?" she asks as she puts her face in her palm.

"I, oh crap." Wendy says.

"It's not what you think."

"What? So what is it?!" she asks in an offended tone, thinking Dipper has betrayed Mabel.

"Mabel and I were talking like a month ago. We were both getting feelings for Wendy, and we found out Wendy felt the same way. So we decided 'why not?' So, no. I'm not cheating on Mabel. I'd never do that to her."

Dipper's answer seems to have calmed his mother down.

"Really? You couldn't have just told me?"

"Well, I didn't know how you would react. If you thought I was lying or not."

"I know when you're lying, and I know when you're telling the truth. I wouldn't be your mother if I didn't."

"Huh. I really need to work on my lying skills." Dipper says jokingly.

"Just, let's keep this between the three of us. Your father will only believe Mabel and even then he might think you somehow pulled her into it."

"Yeah, that's what I was worried about."

Dipper's father returns with a cup of coffee for him and his wife. The two sip the caffeinated beverage while continuing to speak with Dipper and Wendy.

"So, did you catch that new Star Fighters movie?" Mrs. Pines asks.

"Yeah, that was cool." Wendy says.

"I really liked it. I thought the battle in the middle was the best."

"Yeah, the ending went overboard."

"The big battle was too big. Too much junk going on." Dipper says.

"I know, right? I couldn't tell what was happening most of the time. Just a bunch of flashy lasers and explosions."

Wendy and Dipper have become so involved in the conversation that they haven't noticed the door to the apartment opening.

"Hello, my two love birds!" Mabel shouts into the house. Dipper cringes while Wendy shoves her head in her hand.

"I got out early today, so we'll have lots of fun… oh bumble fuck." she says, cursing once she spots the laptop opened and her parents on the screen. Dipper's face is burning bright red while Wendy covers hers with a pillow. Mabel chuckles in embarrassment as she comes over and sits on the couch.

"Uh, hi Mom! Hi Dad!"

"Uh… what's going on?" Mr. Pines asks, as if his brain does not want to put together of what he's just heard.

"Well, uh, me and Dip and Wendy… oh gee, would you look at the time! Bye!"

Mabel shuts the laptop down, turning it off and leaving Mrs. Pines to help her husband figure out what is happening between the twins and Wendy. Dipper and Wendy begin laughing uncontrollably, turning bright red as Mabel begins giggling. As they try to turn to each other, they find they simply begin laughing again. The mad laughing fit takes control, preventing anyone from getting a word in and making Waddles begin worrying, licking the hands of his family to try and help them. As the laughter dies down after several awkward minutes, Wendy turns to Mabel, coughing and gasping for breath.

"Well, I guess we're never calling again." Wendy says.

"We will, we'll probably just… sit around looking at each other." Mabel says.

"Shit, Mabel. That was… that was perfect." Dipper says.

Mabel pulls her two lovers into a hug.

"So… ready for round three?"


End file.
